Disgaea Stories
by Lucien Jay
Summary: A random crackfic I wrote long time ago. It's kinda pretty funny, especially the last chapter, but I didn't fix any stupid mistakes. Just ignore everyone who isn't Laharl. Bunnyloverforever is my little sister, so I took the names from our game characters
1. Chapter 1

"Kiss kiss fall in love

A/N: I do not own Disgaea. However, I am responsible for random bouts of crack in this fic. I wrote this so long ago, I didn't bother with most of the mistakes. This chapter isn't the best, but keep reading, because some parts are actually kind of funny. (Reading this over, I laughed hard out loud, which isn't normal for me.) Enjoy!

"Kiss kiss fall in love!" sang Kim, with her radio turned up and singing to "Sakura Kiss" with the volume at its highest. The music rang out through Overlord Laharl's castle.

"Kim!" yelled Robin, entering her room.

Kim waved at her, because she couldn't hear over the volume of the radio.

"Laharl says to turn off that shit!" yelled Robin.

"WHAT?!"

"LAHARL SAYS TO TURN OFF THAT SHIT!!"

"WHAT?!"

"I SAID TO TURN OFF THAT SHIT!!" Laharl said, entering the room just as Robin was leaving.

Kim turned off the music. "Why?" she asked him. "It wasn't that high. Are you losing your hearing or something? You were yelling at me like I lost my hearing. I don't think I did. Did _you_ lose your hearing? Are you getting _old_?"

Laharl wanted to smack the shit out of her but went over his anger management class instructions by counting to ten instead.

"Look…Kimberly…" he slowly managed to say.

"Yes?" she said innocently. "It's Kim!" She knew, though, that he used her full name when she was in a lot of trouble.

"Kim…I need you to stop playing that dumb ass music."

"Why? I don't think it's dumb! You're insulting what I like again!"

"Look, Kim, nothing personal, but…you need to get back to work!"

"Oh, I'm sorry." She sniffed, leaving the room.

Laharl smashed her radio to bits before leaving.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

Kim entered the workspace (Maggie's portal place and the shops). "Hey guys!" she called.

Everyone looked at her like she was crazy.

"What the hell were you thinking?!" asked Nick, who was sweeping the floors.

"I needed a break, so I took one!" she said cheerily, as though she had done nothing wrong.

Everyone stood there looking at her.

"Back to work, idiots!" Laharl barked, pushing Kim over to her job, which was scrubbing the floors of his throne room.

Kim scrubbed and scrubbed, given the extra hard tasks of cleaning his throne, tending to the fires around there, attempting to clean the ceiling of the throne room, vacuum the rugs, _and _cleaning Laharl's room (which wasn't pretty). After she was done she was exhausted.

"Done…sir…" Kim said, almost falling on the floor when she reported to the place near the shops and Maggie's portal. She was pretty sure it was punishment for her listening to the radio. Usually, different people did different jobs, but that day, she did _all_ the jobs to the throne room area, which, Kim thought, was _not _fair.

"Alright," said Laharl, turning to look at her.

Kim's face was smudged and dirty, her clothes got tattered and some of the parts were charred from the fires she tended to.

"Good job," Laharl said, actually smiling, after checking on her work in the throne room. "I _can_ see my face in the floors! And my bed, too…"

Kim smiled.

"Okay, everyone, you get a break!" Laharl announced.

Everyone cheered.

"Break over!" Laharl said, his mean face back on.

Everyone groaned, blaming Kim for Laharl's particular bad mood that for day.

Yumi walked over to Kim and put her hand on her shoulder.

"Yes?" Kim asked, turning around.

"I think you deserve more…" she said.

"It's alright." Kim tried to smile.

"I'll go talk to the Prince, I mean 'Overlord,'" Yumi reassured. "Although right now he's acting like a baby."

Kim blinked. '_Yumi's talking about Laharl like _this?_'_ She wondered. "But…"

"Hmm?"

"I can't believe Laharl threw you away…you saved my life earlier, in the Cave of Ordeal…" Kim said.

"It's okay…"

"You know what?" said Kim, suddenly bursting with determination.

"Hmm…?" Yumi asked.

"I'm going to be your…" Kim did some flashy hand signals. "Personal trainer!!" she exclaimed.

"Have you been hanging around Gordon?!" Yumi asked, shocked.

"NO!" Kim said, a look of disgust on her face at the mention of him. "I want to help train you so Laharl would _have _to let you back in the Guardians! We'll shove it up his ass!"

"What, exactly, are you going to 'shove up my ass?'" Laharl asked, standing right behind her.

"Oh, it's a joke!" Kim said, turning around. Yumi had a worried look on her face.

"Hmm?" Laharl asked skeptically.

"It means, we're going to do our best today!" Kim said, pointing her pointer finger to the ceiling.

"Have you been hanging around…what's-his-name?" Laharl asked Kim.

"Gordon?"

"Yes."

"NO!"

"Oh, okay." Laharl replied, turning around to leave.

"I can't believe he bought that!" Kim said, although too loudly.

"Bought what?!" Laharl asked, turning back around.

"If you must know, Mr. Nosey, I was wondering where you bought your awesome cape!" Kim lied.

Laharl was obviously tricked, but looked happy to be hearing praise. "Get back to work!" he barked, quickly changing to his evil face again.

Yumi and Kim slumped back to work, along with the others, who watched the spectacle and were laughing behind Laharl's back.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

"Anata wa docory…iru da wo dare wa a mo day ru mm…Na ha…You were always gonna be my love…Itsuka arigato mata koi ni wo shitte wo…I remember to love, you taught me how…You were always gonna be the one… Ima wa, mada, kanashii…" Kim was singing softly in her room, with her new radio.

She heard the door open. It was, of course, Laharl.

"The radio isn't that loud!! I swear!!" Kim was shouting.

"I didn't come for that!" Laharl said.

"Then what…?"

"I wanted to tell you…"

"Yes?"

"You did a good job today…"

Yumi must of given him a good lecture!

"Thanks."

"No problem…By the way, that's a pretty song…"

"Thanks."

Laharl then turned and left without a word.

'_Strange,' _Kim decided. _'But then, that kid's always strange,' _she thought, shaking her head. _'Isn't he?'_

A/N: Not the best chap, but it's something.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Moar randomness

A/N: Moar randomness.

Nick swayed out of bed. _'I shouldn't of gotten drunk last night,' _he automatically thought. _'Laharl sure can hold his liquor!'_

Nick rubbed his head. _'Damn headache!'_ he thought. _'This is all Laharl's fault!'_

He went to the sink and washed his face. He moaned. _'This is one hell of a hangover. I wonder how Laharl feels.' _Nick laughed at the thought.

Nick made his bed, got dressed, and went downstairs for some breakfast.

Sasha, Robin, Kim, Yumi, and Flonne were serving!

Nick's jaw dropped. As Yumi passed him a bowl of 'Demon O's,' he asked, "To what do I owe the occasion?" He flashed them a cheesy smile.

Robin smacked him upside the head.

"Ladies, ladies! There's a piece of the Nick-meister for everyone!" he said.

The looks on the girls' faces made him forget about his hangover. Demons recovered fast, anyways.

On the other hand, Laharl was just waking up, so he was feeling his first effects of his hangover. He moaned really loud, and got up. _'I shouldn't of gotten drunk last night,'_ he automatically thought. _'Nick sure can hold his liquor!'_

Laharl rubbed his head. _'Damn headache!' _ he thought. _'This is all Nick's fault!'_

He went to the sink and washed his face. He moaned. _'This is one hell of a hangover. I wonder how Nick feels.'_ Laharl laughed at the thought.

Laharl made his bed, got dressed, and went downstairs for some breakfast.

There, he saw Nick messing around with the girls, who were fighting back and were throwing his bowl of 'Demon O's' on him.

Nick just smiled as milk ran down his face and 'Demon O's' were scattered around his hair, with the bowl upside down on his head..

'_Something's wrong with him,'_ Laharl thought, as he was sure the girls were thinking too.

Nick licked the milk off that was slipping down his mouth and smiled. "Great breakfast, girls!" he exclaimed, making a show of 'enjoying' his meal. "You guys should become chefs!"

The girls took turns slapping him.

Laharl shook his head.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: This chapter is probably the funniest thing I've ever written in my life

A/N: This chapter is probably the funniest thing I've ever written in my life. Enjoy!!

"Guys!" Laharl bounded into the room with a paper in his hands one day, looking defiant. "An easy one."

"An easy what?" Sasha asked. The Guardians were in the sitting-room, reading or whatnot.

"An easy mission, duh!" Laharl said, looking particularly happy.

"Who're we up against?" Etna questioned, not looking up from her newspaper.

"A lord of an eastern land somewhere." Laharl said. "A small one."

"Name?"

"Shakronowuhpfdskalwowqqeohrfjkfmgtmgpppnpiepnfpjfpjdpsppxppopcpcasoncnoecnepwpwldolfnldnfoncdnofcdmsaasasasdomxnnxnxnnxnpsepnfpwx. Or Shakron for short." Laharl said, not faltering as he spoke.

"You're joking," said Flonne, eyes wide. "You don't have anything else to do, huh?"

"No, this is true." Laharl said, a little pissed now. "He stole my girlfriend."

"Wow." Flonne breathed, amazed. "He must have been handsome."

"Why?" Laharl was suspicious.

"Because he had to be to steal your girlfriend." Flonne giggled. "After all, you're the Overlord."

Laharl blushed, but made a snort of disapproval.

"Oh!" Etna seemed to remember now. "Shakronowuhpfdskalwowqqeohrfjkfmgtmgpppnpiepnfpjfpjdpsppxppopcpcasoncnoecnepwpwldolfnldnfoncdnofcdmsaasasasdomxnnxnxnnxnpsepnfpwx, from high school, right?"

"Yeah, of course. What other Shakronowuhpfdskalwowqqeohrfjkfmgtmgpppnpiepnfpjfpjdpsppxppopcpcasoncnoecnepwpwldolfnldnfoncdnofcdmsaasasasdomxnnxnxnnxnpsepnfpwx is there?" Laharl looked at her as though she were crazy.

"Just checking." She went back to reading.

"I remember Shakronowuhpfdskalwowqqeohrfjkfmgtmgpppnpiepnfpjfpjdpsppxppopcpcasoncnoecnepwpwldolfnldnfoncdnofcdmsaasasasdomxnnxnxnnxnpsepnfpwx," said Nick. "Good fellow, good fellow. Popular guy. Very."

"Who doesn't remember him?" asked Sasha, rolling her eyes. "He was the most popular guy in school."

Flonne couldn't pronounce his name. "Can I just call him Shakron?"

"Only his close friends can." Laharl explained. "Better learn it."

"Can someone write it down for me?" asked Flonne.

"Sure." Kim took a piece of paper and wrote it down in twenty seconds, obviously having memorized his name too. Seeing the look on Flonne's face, she flushed, "Four years of high school, and memorizing his name is easy."

"Uh…sure." Flonne said, taking the sheet of paper.

Jennifer smiled. "I've heard my share of weird names, but that one's the worst."

Laharl cut in. "I've heard names that take hours to say. His is _easy_." Then he started to ramble about his life. "Like, once, I had a meeting with a foreigner from another Nether Realm, and his name took five hours to say. We had to just call him, 'Paul' for short. Paul got so mad he kills someone every time I say Paul."

They heard a scream from outside.

"Anyway," Laharl continued. "Those who don't know his name just call him, 'him' or something. Besides, names don't matter, we're fighting him. Why do we need to know his name? You know what; just scratch what I said about memorizing his name. Just call him Shakron, watch him get mad. Then kill him."

"Laharl, you aren't very good at speeches, are you?" Etna asked, yawning.

"You know what? Whatever." Laharl shot back. "Shut the hell up."

"Or disses."

"SHUT UP! WE'RE LEAVING!" Laharl was in another one of his "moods" now.

They all traveled in Gordon and Jennifer's space ship. Although Laharl wanted to ride on the back's of ass-flaming dragons, everyone can't have everything they want.

When they reached Shakronowuhpfdskalwowqqeohrfjkfmgtmgpppnpiepnfpjfpjdpsppxppopcpcasoncnoecnepwpwldolfnldnfoncdnofcdmsaasasasdomxnnxnxnnxnpsepnfpwx's castle, Laharl muttered, "We would have gotten here faster if we rode the dragons."

"You know what Laharl? Shut your spoiled ass up." Etna said, annoyed.

"YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP, BIIIIIIIIITCH." Laharl tried to act gangster.

"We need a change in main character." Sasha said. "It's all about Laharl right now."

"Yeah." Nick said. "How about me?" Cheesy grin.

Let's go with that.

Nick walked into the chamber…with the Guardians. Sorry, Nick, it isn't all about you.

"Shakronowuhpfdskalwowqqeohrfjkfmgtmgpppnpiepnfpjfpjdpsppxppopcpcasoncnoecnepwpwldolfnldnfoncdnofcdmsaasasasdomxnnxnxnnxnpsepnfpwx!!" yelled Nick defiantly. "We're here to defeat you. You sent us a challenge; we're here to answer it in your death! For I am the OVERLORD! HAHAHAHAHAHA –"

My bad. Nick, you liar. Laharl said that.

You lost your main character privileges.

"HAHAHAHAHHAHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

There was a gold throne at the head of the huge room. Sitting in it was…

Brace yourself.

A purple Geo Symbol. Shakronowuhpfdskalwowqqeohrfjkfmgtmgpppnpiepnfpjfpjdpsppxppopcpcasoncnoecnepwpwldolfnldnfoncdnofcdmsaasasasdomxnnxnxnnxnpsepnfpwx was a purple Geo Symbol.

Strange world, isn't it?

The Guardians struck a cool-looking pose, freezing for a few moments, showing off their weapons and looks.

The Geo Symbol moved slightly, not impressed by their poses.

"Wait!" Laharl yelled. "A High school memory moment is screaming at me right now." He pulled out a yearbook from his endless pockets of stuff, apparently.

As they cooed and chirped over their past photos, something happened to the Geo Symbol. He underwent "a change." He became lethal. If the Guardians and Laharl didn't look over the yearbook for hours on end, they would have beaten the Geo Symbol in two seconds. But they _had_ to look in the yearbook.

"Good times, good times." Laharl said, wiping tears from his eyes. "Oh. I almost don't want to kill Shakronowuhpfdskalwowqqeohrfjkfmgtmgpppnpiepnfpjfpjdpsppxppopcpcasoncnoecnepwpwldolfnldnfoncdnofcdmsaasasasdomxnnxnxnnxnpsepnfpwx now." Then he took a few moments. "Never mind. Emotional moment over." Then he brandished his sword.

The Geo Symbol flew in the air.

"WOW!" every one stared at him, freezing to admire for a few seconds.

The Geo Symbol struck Laharl on his head, taking a chunk of skin from his cheek.

"You little shit!" Laharl said, cursing and cursing. "YOU LITTLE CHICKEN SHIT! COME OVER HERE! I AM THE OVERLORD!! THE OVERLORD!! YOU'LL PAY FOR THIS! MY FACE!! MY HANDSOME FACE IS SCARRED!!"

Yumi scrambled to heal his cheek; he cursed words that you wouldn't imagine at the Geo Symbol. This was pointless, since she could just heal his face in two seconds.

The Guardians attacked at Laharl's furious order. They all came charging at it; thinking it would be an easy battle.

The Geo Symbol attacked; fury in his…figure. He somehow grabbed Nick by his hair and threw him at Sasha, since she was about to use her fire magic. Then he smashed Flonne's gun as he snatched her hand and rammed her into the remaining Guardians.

Laharl, even angrier than usual, came head on with his sword. The Geo Symbol moved an inch, and Laharl smashed into the wall.

If the Geo Symbol could talk, he would have been saying something like: "You guys sure are weak." Or some taunt. But he didn't. Because he's a Geo Symbol.

Getting up first was Sasha.

Using her fire magic, the Geo Symbol burst into flame. Distinguishing it with ice, she grabbed it and threw it out the window when everyone had gotten up. They congratulated Sasha happily. Laharl was the last to get up, head throbbing. As he walked the room to talk to everyone, telling them that his defeat wasn't as easy as it looked, the Geo Symbol flew back into the room, bashing his skull into an open wound.

Everyone stared at Laharl as he slowly fell to the floor, seemingly in slow motion.

"Wow, Laharl; that could have gone better." Etna remarked.

"Wow, Laharl; that fall took five minutes to accomplish." Nick remarked.

"Wow, guys; maybe you should HELP THE OVERLORD OF THE NETHERWORLD up." Laharl said, fuming with rage way beyond what his body could manage, almost burning himself into a crisp in his own anger.

After helping up Laharl, and, in Yumi's case, healing him, The Geo Symbol sat defiantly upon a random table showing up out of nowhere.

"Let's flush him down the toilet." Laharl suggested.

TO BE CONTINUED!?

A/N: Well, this ended up being all I wrote back then. I might continue…And I could try and make it crackier, but I don't know if I can pull that off. Well, R&R, please!


End file.
